50 Funny Chemistry Jokes And Puns

From goofy jokes about atoms to clever jokes about the periodic table, science-lovers will enjoy this big list of the best nerdy chemistry jokes just as much as a successfully executed chemistry experiment. Here are 50 funny chemistry jokes and puns that are guaranteed to make nerdy joke-lovers totally geek out. And trust us, to them, that’s a good thing!

50 Chemistry Jokes

1. Lose an electron? Gotta keep an ion it.
2. Gold is the best element because it’s AU-some.
3. I like to hear chemistry puns, periodically.
4. What do you call an acid with an attitude? A-mean-o Acid
5. Why can you never trust an atom? They make up literally everything.
6. Want to hear a Potassium joke? K!
7. Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK!
8. Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na
9. My chemistry experiment exploded. It’s ok, oxidants happen
10. I wish I was adenine. Then I could get paired with U.
11. What should do you do with a dead Chemist? Barium!
12. What element is a girl’s future best friend? Carbon.
13. Why did the white bear dissolve in water? Because it was polar!
14. I think that angry flask completely overreacted.
15. What element derives from a Norse god? Thorium.
16. Carbon and hydrogen went on a date. I heard they really bonded
17. I can’t remember that element, but it’s on the tip of my tungsten.
18. What show do cesium and iodine love to watch together? CsI
19. The proton is not speaking to the other proton, he’s mad atom.
20. What was Avogadro’s favorite sport? Golf, because he always got a mole-in-one.
21. What did silver say to gold at the bar? “Au, get outta here!”
22. Make like a proton and stay positive.
23. If you’re not part of the solution—you’re part of the precipitate.
24. What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from? Separation anxiety.
25. What do you call a clown in jail? A Silicon!
26. Want to hear a joke about nitrogen oxide? NO!
27. What is a chemist’s favorite holiday song? Oh Chemist-TREE, oh Chemist-TREE!
28. If H2O is the formula for water, then what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed!
29. Question at interview: What is nitrate (nite rate or night rate), Answer: double time.
30. I think these jokes are sodium funny. In fact, I slapped my neon that one!
31. A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender how much a drink costs. “For you, no charge.”
32. Wait, are all these jokes too basic for you? Because I see no reaction.
33. What did the man say when his girlfriend threw sodium and chloride at him? That’s as-salt!
34. Two chemists walk into a bar. One tells the bartender, “I’ll have an H2O.” The other says, “I’ll have an H2O too!” The second chemist dies.
35. Salt made a pun joke and it was Sodium funny.
36. Why did the attacking army use acid? To neutralize the enemy’s base!
37. What happened to the man stopped for having sodium chloride and a 9-volt in his car? He was booked for a salt and battery.
38. Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve noble gasses here.” Helium doesn’t react.
39. Q: What is the chemical formula for diarrhea? A: (CO(NH2)2)2
40. Why do chemists like nitrates so much? They’re cheaper than day rates! 41. What do you call a nonsensical felon? A silicon
41. What’s a chemistry teacher’s favorite thing to teach about? Ammonia, because it’s pretty basic stuff.
42. Chemists are so happy in the lab because they’re in their element.
43. Titanium is an amorous metal. When it gets hot, it will combine with anything! 45.  If Iron Man and Silver Surfer teamed up, they’d be alloys.
44. What do the other elements say about hydrogen? He’s such a loner!
45. What is HIJKLMNO? H2O!
46. What do you do with a sick chemist? If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, then you might as well barium. 49. H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed
47. What do chemists call a benzene ring where the carbon atoms are replaced with iron atoms? A ferrous wheel. For more good laughs, check out these 101 funny quotes and knock-knock jokes.