You think normal dad jokes are groan-worthy? Wait until they’re related to the Heavenly Father. These religious jokes are (sacra)ment to make you grin for what might seem like an eternity, and bring some laughter (and possible good-natured head shaking) to your day. Not only will the lighthearted Christian quips provide smiles before Bible study, they’ll have you passing the peace and passing the jokes to others at church! Call in the cavalry (not to be confused with calvary), because you’ll need help getting off the ground after chuckling through these puns about the Bible, puns about religion, and dad jokes about faith. People get ready, the 45 best Christian jokes are coming your way!

45 Funny Christian Jokes

  1. What did Jonah’s family say when he told them about what happened before reaching Nineveh? “Hmm, sounds fishy.”
  2. What was Moses’ wife, Zipphora, known as when she’d throw dinner parties? “The hostess with the Moses.”
  3. Why couldn’t the Israelites initially enter the Promised Land? It wasn’t the Pinky Promised Land.
  4. What did the classmate say when asked why they kept walking next to the same person at school? “I was told I’m supposed to walk by Faith!”
  5. Which Bible character was super-fit?Absalom.
  6. What did Adam say when he was asked his favorite holiday? “It’s Christmas, Eve.”
  7. What do you call a Bible character who just pulled into church? A parking Lot.
  8. What did God’s people say when food fell from Heaven? “Oh man-na!”
  9. What did pirates call Noah’s boat? “The arrrrrrk.”
  10. What did David have in common with Hamilton? He wasn’t going to throw away his (sling)shot.
  11. Why did Boaz hate lying? Because he loved truth.
  12. How are toddlers and those who attempted to build a tower to Heaven similar? They all babble.
  13. Why didn’t anyone want to fight Goliath? It seemed like a giant ordeal.
  14. Which king liked to do things on his own?Solomon.
  15. What kind of car would Jesus drive? A Christler.
  16. Which nursery song would Jesus have heard the most? “Mary Had a Little Lamb.”
  17. Why did Adam and Eve do math every day? They were told to be fruitful and multiply.
  18. How do you know that atoms are Catholic? They have mass.
  19. What did Daniel tell his real estate agent? “I’d prefer a house with no den.”
  20. Who in the Bible knew the most people? Abraham knew a Lot.
  21. What’s a believer’s favorite fruit? Spiritual.
  22. How did Joseph make his coffee?Hebrewed it.
  23. What’s loved by Noah and also most meat-eaters? Ham.
  24. How do you know Pharaoh was athletic? He had a court.
  25. What did the family members say when asked who would say grace? “Grace.”
  26. Which Bible character was the best musician? Samson—he brought the house down.
  27. Who in the Bible had the greatest business plans? The prophets.
  28. Which book of the major prophets is the easiest to understand?EZekiel.
  29. Which minor prophet is well-known thanks to cookies? Famous Amos.
  30. What do you call a prophet who’s also a chef? Habakkuk.
  31. What did Adam say to Eve when handing her something to wear? “Take it or leaf it.”
  32. When someone needed a boat made, what did the people in town say? “We Noah guy.”
  33. What did Zachariah do when he and Elizabeth had disagreements? He gave the silent treatment.
  34. How did Paul greet his friend? “Give me Phi-lemon!”
  35. What did the lawyer ask when someone started talking about God’s will? “Was it notarized?”
  36. What’s a miracle that can be done by a complainer? Turning anything into whine.
  37. What size was the lumber that was made to build the ark? 2x2.
  38. How would you rate Jael’s camping skills? Tent out of tent.
  39. What’s a Christian’s favorite card game?Eucharist.
  40. How do pastors like their orange juice? With pulpit.
  41. When preparing for the Feast of Weeks, what did some disciples wonder? “How much is this going to (Pente)cost?”
  42. What types of boats do believers want to go on? Discipleship and worship.
  43. What does the Episcopal Church say before a big gathering? “This is going to be liturgy.”
  44. How did Jacob cheer on his grandson? “You’re the Manasseh!”
  45. Where was Solomon’s Temple located? On the side of his head. Check out:- 200+ funny jokes for kids- 101 corny jokes- 101 funny one-liners- Best knock knock jokes for kids

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